第35节

'You can't afford to let up for a minute. Sometimes I think if it

hadn't been for Chisum, I'd have..." She let it hang there.

'And you've still got another two and a half years to go,' observed

Steve.

'Yeah..." Roz smiled wanly. 'Don't worry, I'll make it. And, just

for the record, he hasn't jacked your little sister."

'I'm not worried, Roz. You're a big girl now. I just want to know

what the score is. What's his angle? What's he after?"

'I don't know, and I don't care. If Chisum wasn't around I'd pop my

rivets. He's a nice, relaxing guy. He knows how to make you laugh. A

few of us sneak over here for a few hours every couple of weeks or

so.

We sit around, swap ideas, talk about things - everything except

medicine - brew Java, plug into some blackjack and burn off some

grass.

It helps take the heat off."

Steve sat bolt upright and seized his kin-sister's wrist.

'Sweet Christopher! I told you to lay off that blackjack junk before I

leR. And now you're smoking grass!" Roz eyed him calmly. 'So what?

You were piped into it while you were out there."

'Is that what Chisum told you?"

'Yeah, tonight. When he was fixing up for me to come over to meet

you.

I asked him how he thought you might react if I lit up."

'And what did he say?"

Roz smiled. 'He said you might hit the roof but probably wouldn't go

through it. And that if I twisted your arm, you might loosen up and

take a puff."

'The crazy sonofabitch!" hissed Steve angrily. 'I told him! Roz!

How could you get sucked into something like this?! Blackjack and

grass are both Code One! If the Provos were to hit this place while

you were all here -' Roz cut him off. 'Steve! Half the Provos in

Grand Central are tunnelling out. How d'you think the stuff gets

here?

They're part of the network!" 'Is that what Chisum told you?"

'Of course. You don't think I walked up to some meat-loaf and asked

him, do you?"

'And you believe it . . ."

Roz pulled free of his grip and held his hand between hers. 'Why

not?

True, untrue, right, wrong. I don't know what those words mean anymore

- do you?"

'I used to once. Now, well - I'm not so sure."

'Exactly. Anyway, what are you getting so upset about? You've done

the same thing."

'That was different. I was a prisoner."

'Yes, of course. I forgot." Roz smiled. 'Did you tell the Assessors

the Mutes forced you to smoke grass?"

'No. They might not have understood."

'I bet. And what else didn't you tell them?"

Steve pulled his hand free. 'Drop it, Roz. I've got enough

problems."

'I know."

'What d'you mean?"

Roz rose to her feet abruptly and looked down at him.

'You keep forgetting I can get inside your head, Steve. I was with you

on your first overground solo, when you crashed, when you were on your

way here aboard the shuttle."

Steve was filled with sudden foreboding. 'I know. You already told

me."

Roz nodded. 'There were other times too, big brother."

'What "other times?"?"

Roz smiled ruefully. 'Steve - I know there are things you don't want

to tell me. That hurts but - okay, I know you've been trying for years

to build a wall around yourself. Maybe you can shut out other people

but I will always get through. We really are different. Sometimes I

hate it, hate having to hide it, hate knowing that you the other part

of what I am - are trying to break the bond between us."

'I'm not,' said Steve. 'Not all the time. It - you have to

understand, Roz - this thing we have. scares the heck out of me."

'It used to scare me - but not anymore. What frightens me now is